Q. ....., some time ago I was deeply hurt by another person. I've tried to forgive, yet every time I see that person I still feel angry and resentful. My friends tell me I'll be able to forgive in time - but it's been many months now and I still feel the same way. Will I ever be able to truly forgive?
A. Yes, you can and you must! Not next week or next month, either - you need to forgive that person today! Spiritually speaking, unforgiveness is downright dangerous. It will make your spirit feeble and your prayers ineffective. It will pull the plug on your faith so completely that you won't have enough power to move the molehills in your life - much less the mountains. Read Mark 11:22-25 and you'll see why I say that. There you'll find one of Jesus' most powerful teachings on faith. He concludes that teaching with these words, "And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have aught against any...." Notice He didn't say, "When ye stand praying, try to forgive" or "When ye stand praying, forgive if you can." He simply said, "Forgive." Period. Jesus made forgiveness a command. It would be unjust for Him to command us to do something we couldn't do. So you can be sure it's within your power to obey His command and forgive - no matter how badly you've been wronged. Why then has it been so difficult for you to do so? Probably because you have fears that are holding you back. Most people don't realize it, but unforgiveness is actually a form of fear. Quite often we don't forgive because we're afraid of getting hurt again. We're afraid we're never going to recover from the damage that person has done to our lives. If you want to freely forgive, get rid of those fears. Cleanse yourself from them by the "washing of the water by the word" (Ephesians 5:26). Fill your mind and heart with promises of God that apply to your situation. If your business has been threatened by this person, for example, meditate on the fact that no weapon formed against you will prosper (Isaiah 54:17), and rely on the fact that your God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). Let the knowledge of the merciful, protective love of God cast out all your fears (see 1 John 4:18). Then forgive, not by feelings but by faith. Do it the same way you would receive healing or anything else by faith. First, make a quality decision. Determine that you're going to do what God's Word instructs - no matter what. You're going to forgive. Second, speak and act in accordance with that decision. Refuse to say anything negative about that person. Refuse to rehearse in your mind or with your mouth the hurt they have caused you. Instead, look for opportunities to bless that person both in word and in deed. Finally, don't be moved by what you feel. Forgiveness is an act of the will, not feelings. When lying symptoms of unforgiveness well up inside you, come against them in faith. Say, "Praise God, I have forgiven that person by an act of my will. In the Name of Jesus, I'm not moved by these feelings. They'll just have to get in line. They'll have to submit to the faith and the love of God that's been shed abroad in my heart." If you'll continue to do that, I can assure you from my own experience, your feelings will change. It may not happen overnight...but it will happen. One of these days, almost without thinking, you'll throw your arms around that person, give them a big hug and say, "I love you." What's more, you'll mean it from the bottom of your heart.
cited in: http://www.kcm.org/studycenter/articles/relationships/can_forgive.php
PS. dedicated to a friend who asked me to have a word about the above topic. I believe sometime that he/she will express his/her own testimony.
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2 comments:
eixa je gw mes to nou mou tounti kouventa me ti sixwresi. mporeis na sixoriseis kapoion alla na exakoloutheis na men theleis na ton kamneis parea? oxa to enan anerei to allo??
veveos kai mporis. to na sixoresis kapion de simenei oti prepei na exete kai kapia sxesi. o kyrios logos pou sixoris kapion, ine epidi esi den nio8is kala...ane3eretos pos nio8i o allos. ara to kaneis gia sena. o logos pou pisteuo oti prepei o ka8enas na to kanei auto ine gia na proxori mprosta kai pote piso. opos anaferetai kai sto article...o logos pou sixoras...ine gia na figei to varos apo mesa sou..to oti den ehis provlima me to sigkekrimeno atomo. prepei na vreis tin dinami na katalavis ( auto alloste sou iposxete the Bible) oti autos pou se pligose..opos kai na se pligose...as asxoli8ei autos me tis dikes tou tipseis kai varos. esi apo tin diki sou pleura prepei na kataferis na ise ok gia sena..kai OXI gia kanena allo. o ka8e allos as leei oti 8elei.
deftero: prosopika den vrisko logo na min mpori o an8ropos na sixorei kapion allon an8ropo gia kati. mporis apla na sixoresis..kai tautoxrona na kratiseis makria ( an esi to 8elis) auto to atomo apo tin zoi sou. auto simenei oti pleon den epireazei tin zoi sou i zoi tou , oi pra3eis tou or ta logia tou. me tin sixoresi..8a katalaveis oti apoktas mian aspida kai ena spa8i pou oti dipote kakoproereto apo auto to atomo laveis meta afou to sixoreseis, aplos tou epistrefonte se megalitero va8mo osa leei kai osa prospa8ei na kani enantion sou. pos 8a to katalaveis oti douleuei auto? AMESOS! kai o logos ine dioti 8a katalaveis tin idia stigmi,otan diladi prospa8isei na se pligosei, 8a ais8an8eis oti den mpori na to kanei anymore kai believe me 8a arxiseis na xamogelas monos sou kai na les tou eaftou sou "wow, en to perimena pou mena touto to prama..e3epli3a me, kanonika en eprepe na me piraze? :) ...kai otan to sinantiseis 3ana auto to atomo..na mporis na kopsis kai mia kouventa sosti, xoris fovous, xoris anafores sto 8ema to opio se pligose...kai idikotera..na tou di3eis me tis pra3eis sou kai oxi me ta logia sou oti ton ehis sigxoresei. apo kei kai meta...to 8ema ine aplo...diaforetiki zoi i diki sou, diaforetiki i zoi autou. kai etsi apo mono tou erxete na eu8igramistei..sto oti aplos...en kamnis pleon "parea" me to sigkekrimeno atomo.."ekopsete" pou lemen...opos kamnume me olon ton kosmo pou den mas pligose, alla aplos stamatoume na kanume parea logo sin8ikon kai diaforetikon pleon enndiaferonton kai otan ton deis milate kanonika :)
How will we know if we have truly forgiven?
Corrie Ten Boom, a Christian woman who survived a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust, said, "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you."
We will know the work of forgiveness is complete when we experience the freedom that comes as a result. We are the ones who suffer most when we choose not to forgive. When we do forgive, the Lord sets our hearts free from the anger, bitterness, resentment and hurt that previously imprisoned us.
Most times, however, forgiveness is a slow process.
Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (NIV)
This answer by Jesus makes it clear that forgiveness is not easy for us. It's not a one-time choice and then we automatically live in a state of forgiveness. Forgiveness may require a lifetime of forgiving, but it is important to the Lord. We must continue forgiving until the matter is settled in our heart.
What if the person we need to forgive is not a believer?
I have found that prayer is one of the best ways to break down the wall of un-forgiveness in my heart. When I begin to pray for the person who has wronged me, God begins to give me new eyes to see that person and a new heart to care for that person. As I pray I begin to see that person as God sees them, and I realize that person is precious to the Lord. I also see myself in a new light, just as guilty of sin and failure as the other person. I too am in need of forgiveness. If God did not withhold his forgiveness from me, why should I withhold my forgiveness from another?
Is it okay to feel anger and want justice for the person we need to forgive?
This question presents another reason to pray for the person we need to forgive. We can pray for God to deal with the injustices, for God to judge the person's life, and then we can leave that prayer at the altar. We no longer have to carry the anger. Although it is normal for us to feel anger toward sin and injustice, it is not our job to judge the other person in their sin.
Luke 6:37
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. (NIV)
Why must we forgive?
The best reason to forgive is because Jesus commanded us to forgive. We learn from Scripture, if we don't forgive, neither will we be forgiven:
Matthew 6:14-16
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (NIV)
We also forgive so that our prayers will not be hindered:
Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. (NIV)
In summary and in closing, we forgive out of obedience to the Lord. It is a choice, a decision we make. However, as we do this "forgiving," we discover the command is in place for our own good, and we receive the reward of our forgiveness - freedom.
Elpizo na voi8isa kapos
Source: http://christianity.about.com/od/whatdoesthebiblesay/a/bibleforgivenes.htm
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